Thursday, 24 July 2014

Being a Reverse Brizezilla | Budget Wedding Blog

I think I was one...

That term "Bridezilla" upsets me greatly, it's used a LOT, and too often to describe actually very reasonable behaviour to the point where any brides-to-be worry about making so much as a squeek of disapproval for fear of being labelled one.

In any other situation you wouldn't get labelled as some sort of overly emotional, irrational and intolerant monsterous beast for having strong ideas and opinions... "hey WORKzilla calm down about those spreadsheets!"... "All right FOODzilla... you can have new potatoes instead of chips..."

See what I mean

If you want purple bridesmaids dresses and you're paying for bridesmaids dresses... get purple bridesmaid dresses and don't let anyone name call you for doing so!

Anyway, the REVERSE Bridezilla (RVB) ie me, is so scared of being labelled that she will be laid back to the point of horizontal, constantly say "hey, it's fine... do what you like", leave everything to the very last minute and never, ever, ask for help. They are scared that any amount of nay-saying will lead to the inevitable branding and that no measure of protesting will have anyone hearing otherwise.

Should you find yourself dealing with one of these impossible creatures (the RVB) be mindful of the fact that she probably does want help, but she doesn't want to ask for it, she probably does want things done a certain way but doesn't want to come over as bossy... so you might have to be a bit stealthy in wheedling out the ideas and opinions.

If you think you too are a RVB fear not! Be honest about what you'd like, don't bury your head in the sand and don't convince yourself you can just do it all yourself later, ask people to help, make it fun, have a craft party if you're making invites or decorations; play to the strengths of your friends, don't ask none-crafters to stitch 150 meters of bunting and get cross because they did it wrong.

Being organised isn't being bossy; make a spreadsheet. It will make everything easier.
Don't bark out orders; ask people if they would like to be involved (they'll probably say yes) and ask them what they would like to do; listen to their opinions but stick to your guns if you have something in mind.

People will have an opinion about your wedding, they just will. This is something you need to get over. You can't please all of the people all of the time, and with weddings, on average, hosting 80 - 100 guests from multiple generations, there are going to be plenty of people who dissaprove of something in one way or another. Don't let this concern you or you will quickly stop enjoying the planning process which is supposed to be fun after all!


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